On Friday night, Obama referred to an airstrike as a “kinetic action” and his sock puppets in the media nodded. If George W. Bush had said the same thing, they would have described it as a “war crime.”
A day earlier, Bernie Sanders lashed out at Hillary Clinton, saying that she took money from “the fossil-fuel industry,” which was formerly known as “Big Oil.” But now the big tent of bad energy must be expanded to include coal.
It’s very difficult, keeping up with the ever-changing PC permutations of the language. We all understand that what was once global cooling and then global warming is now just plain climate change. And that when Democrats pander to the “working class,” they really mean the “non-working class.”
With these people, every day is 1984 and they’re the Ministry of Truth. Obamacare is the Affordable Care Act — and it’s unaffordable. And when your income-tax return is docked because you couldn’t afford affordable care, it’s not a fine, it’s a “shared responsibility tax.”
How about the word “settled”? Settled science is in fact religion, and any researcher who dares dissent from the various cults’ orthodoxies will lose his research grant and any chance for tenure, and eventually may even be prosecuted. (Ask Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse.)
Settled law means anything the moonbats agree with. Five seconds after the Supreme Court overturned the eternal definition of marriage, the gays were calling it “settled law.”
But if this same crowd doesn’t like a law, they tell us the Constitution is a “living document,” by which they mean they want to get rid of some of the Bill of Rights, starting with the Second Amendment. After 230 years, it should be replaced with “common-sense gun laws,” common sense being decided by the same people who gave you Obamacare and Fast and Furious.
How about “means-testing”? This scheme involves taking away the Social Security of people who paid into the system, in order to provide more welfare for people who didn’t. After all, you have to pay your “fair share,” and the other guy’s too, and his girlfriend’s.
Whatever a bum — er, Occupier — grabs is invariably called an “entitlement.” He’s entitled … to your money. On the other hand, if you use your own earnings to buy stocks and now receive dividends, that’s “unearned income.”
A Communist is now a Democratic Socialist. (Ask Bernie.) A criminal investigation by the FBI is now a “security review.” (Ask Hillary.) Letting male sex offenders loiter in women’s restrooms — gender equality. Outlawing gender equality — a hate crime. (Ask North Carolina.)
Higher taxes are an “investment in the future” — their future, not yours. A teachable moment — an opportunity to lecture you on your shortcomings. Dialogue — see teachable moment. Affirmative action — racial discrimination on behalf of Democrats.
Drunkards and drug addicts now have substance-abuse disorders. They are chemically dependent.
Illegal aliens are undocumented workers, even though most of them don’t work. They live in the shadows, except for when they’re going to the State House on weekdays during business hours to issue non-negotiable demands for more handouts.
An earned income tax credit is a welfare payment for someone who doesn’t pay taxes, and thus cannot receive a “credit.” A subsidy is likewise a handout if it goes to any industry that actually produces something, in which case it’s “crony capitalism.” But if the subsidy goes to Democratic bundlers running bust-out “green” energy companies that produce no energy — that’s a “smart” investment.
If a conservative caves to a Democrat, it’s a “compromise.” If a Republican changes his position, it’s a “flip-flop.” If a Democrat does the same, he or she has “grown” or “evolved.” If a Republican sells out his constituents, he receives a Profile in Courage Award. If a Democrat changes his position, he gets indicted. (See Sen. Robert Menendez.)
Republicans lie, Democrats misspeak. Tomorrow’s slums are today’s “affordable housing.” Moonbats call Priuses “alternative-fuel” vehicles. In fact, they are “coal-fired,” although to say that is “inappropriate,” which means not PC.
Any issue that works for Republicans is a wedge issue, a dog whistle. Any issue that works for Democrats is speaking truth to power.
A new PC phrase: “That’s not who we are.” That means, we must not enforce the immigration laws against the nation’s current dependents and future Democrats. We need “comprehensive immigration reform” — open borders, at least for anyone not willing to learn English or get a job.
Foreign policy: Cowardice, lack of direction and general fecklessness — Obama’s courtiers call it “leading from behind.” Overseas contingency operation: war.
Living wage: what an employer pays someone who’s not worth his hourly pay, until the employer can either build a robot or goes out of business, whichever comes first.
Listen to Howie every weekday 3-7 p.m. on WRKO AM 680.
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