Pronouns in 2017

Many new and strange things are on the horizon for 2017 – perhaps none stranger then the new language coming your way, compliments of those who are confused about their sexuality.

It used to be so simple – you were either a man or a woman, a girl or a boy; you were attracted to the opposite gender; and you called yourself a “he” or a “she.” But such pronouns as he, him, she, and her evidently are now passé – a development that likely would have ruffled the feathers of the late journalist, Edwin Newman (an avid defender of the English language).

According to various (non-family-friendly) websites, there are now at least 56 general sets of pronouns and hundreds of theme-based pronouns. Examples? You may be “nocturnalgender” – a gender that feels more intense during the night, but weak or nonexistent when the light is out. To be “orbgender” is to have a gender which feels round, without any edges. Some are “felisgender” – a small, catlike gender.

“It’s easy to mock it; it’s easy to laugh at it – but the problem is that young people are buying into it,” says Peter LaBarbera with Americans for Truth About Homosexuality. “It’s detached from reality. It’s detached from nature and detached from God.”

As proof that millennials are among those “buying into it,” at least one institution of higher learning is allowing students to choose their preferred gender pronoun.

Then there are those to whom you are attracted – your “sexual orientation,” to use the politically correct term. Of course, those attracted to the opposite sex are heterosexual. But there are those who claim to be “ficto” – individuals who only have feelings towards fictional characters; or “objectumsexual” – someone who is attracted to inanimate objects.

If you identify as a clock, you may want someone to address you as tick, ticks, or tickself. Or you might want to go out and find someone who prefers tock, tocks, and tockself.

And apparently in this wild world of wacky pronouns, you have the right to demand that others refer to you that way as well. As a related video states: “We call them preferred pronouns – but really, they’re mandatory.”

In other words, there are no rules – but you must follow them.

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