California could secede from the United States. Signatures are being hurriedly gathered for a 2018 ballot initiative that would begin the process of independence for the Golden State.

Awesome. Break a leg. I wholeheartedly endorse “#Calexit” and here’s why you should too.

About a third of the entire welfare population of the United States lives in California. Let’s make that the Independent Country of California’s problem, not ours.

An estimated 2,350,000 illegal immigrants (about the population of Connecticut) reside there too. In the new California they can all be legalized and won’t have to dwell “in the shadows.”

Taxes in the state are astronomical and yet the fleecing of the battered upper middle class has failed to keep roads and bridges from crumbling, or the K-12 schools from performing dismally. I’d look for an eastern wall to keep the remaining affluent within the borders.

When we shed California, we’ll be saying goodbye to state with the most murders per year.

We won’t miss anything about California. Do you know anybody whose favorite pizza is at California Pizza Kitchen?

Will you be jones-ing for Chicken of the Sea tuna or Panda Express?

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There is nothing that Trader Joe’s can do that Market Basket cannot.

Once secession happens the California-based IHOP near you will truly be international.

Also, isn’t California set to fall into the sea? It’s basically perforated by a fault line — what a lemon.

Let’s face it, California is not a team player. They’ve culturally slept through the war on terror and are very open about “valor” not being an important virtue.

The big Calexit website reads, “The only reason terrorists might want to attack us is because we are part of the United States and are guilty by association. Not being a part of that country will make California a less likely target of retaliation by its enemies.”

Way to hold the line, boys.

California should go and take with it “El Nino,” whatever that is. Also take Lena Dunham, Susan Sarandon, Joss Whedon, driverless cars, trendy enemas, TED talks and earthquakes.

Sure, 49 states on the flag may seem uneven so let’s make it 48. It’s time for the California of the East to secede, as well. Instead of being a sanctuary state Massachusetts can be a sanctuary country.

Bonus: That’s 66 fewer electoral votes for the Democrats.


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