Willard Mitt Romney — how can we miss him when he won’t go away?
Actually, he has been MIA these last couple of days. Has the one-term governor of Massachusetts finally moved on from the first stage of grief, denial, to the second, anger?
“Mitt’s a bright guy,” Pat Buchanan was saying yesterday. “People are asking, ‘What’s happened to Mitt?’ ”
He’s gone off the rail, pretty clearly. He moves aimlessly around the country, sitting down with one unlovable loser after another, all of them whining in their best Lesley Gore — it’s their party and they’ll cry if they want to.
You would cry too, Mitt tells John Kasich and Reince Priebus and Karl Rove and Ben Sasse, if it happened to you.
And now Mitt’s gone, like a prophet rejected in his own land, wandering the desert the way Moses did after crossing the Red Sea. But Mitt Romney had no chariots chasing him, just a few insolent bloggers and tweeters, pointing out that he now plots to do what no man has ever done — win a third-party candidacy — by conspiring with some of the most incompetent, clueless boobs in the history of the GOP.
Stuart Spencer, his own campaign manager in 2012, who ran the worst convention ever, wrote the worst convention campaign speech ever and then managed the worst fall campaign ever, featuring Mitt going into the fetal position for an hour during the second debate? What could possibly go wrong now? And then there is Willard’s other consigliere, Mike Murphy, who squandered $100 million driving Jeb Bush into the ditch after South Carolina.
When they enter a room now, the band strikes up “Send in the Clowns.”
Moses spoke to a burning bush, Mitt had to settle for Jeb. Juan Ellis Bush slapped Mitt around, intimidated him into quitting the fight before it began. Told a cowed Romney how he’d cornered the soul of the GOP — the neo-con, open-borders, NAFTA-worshipping, limousine-riding white-shoed Club for Growth leeches.
Imagine how Willard must feel now, beaten senseless by the runt of the litter, Mr. Low Energy, whom Trump would destroy a few months later with a single baleful glare.
Mitt Romney didn’t realize that the game had totally left him behind. Not just him, but all the other 14 or 15 GOP candidates. The only difference is, most of the other guys picked themselves up off the pavement, dusted themselves off and did the right thing. They endorsed Trump.
But not Mitt — or Juan Ellis Bush, or Paul Ryan-O, or coat-holders William Kristol and George Will. They’re looking for a patsy to do Hillary’s dirty work.
If Trump is so terrible, Pat Buchanan asked yesterday, “Why does Romney not man up and take the assignment himself? … Romney is asking others to undertake a mission that will kill their careers and make them pariahs in their party, but will not do it himself.”
How Mitt is it? Yesterday, news broke that another former GOP governor, Bill Weld, may run for vice president … of the Libertarian Party.
So you tell me, which ex-governor is making a bigger fool of himself this spring, Willard or Weld?
Listen to Howie from 3-7 p.m. on WRKO AM 680
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