How many times have I told you — if you ever get jammed up in court, the best way not to do time for your crime is to be an illegal alien or, at the very least, not a U.S. citizen.

Maybe you didn’t believe me. But in Springfield this week, Superior Court Judge Tina Page let the cat out of the bag.

Sentencing a Dominican EBT fraudster, the judge said, “Had the defendant been a citizen of the United States, he would, in all likelihood, be receiving a substantial sentence.”

So much for equal protection under the law.

The Dominican was running a bodega — a convenience store — convenient, that is, if you want to commit welfare fraud. Julio Rodriguez, who astonishingly was a legal alien, pleaded guilty to stealing over $38,000 in taxpayer funds. He would debit his customers’ EBT cards for $200, then pay the undocumented Democrats $100 cash, which they could then use to buy more crack, stolen handguns, tattoos or money orders for their equally shiftless relatives back home.

Attorney General Maura Healey’s office signed off on this miscarriage of justice. The reason: So that Julio would not be deported back to the Third World hellhole from which he came.

His lawyer said, “We want to keep him in the U.S.”

Why? So he can conspire to steal more money from Americans? The judge said she accepted the wet-kiss deal “reluctantly … reluctantly.”

As part of his wrist slap from the DraftKings-obsessed AG, Julio agreed not to accept EBT cards, and to make restitution at the rate of $500 a month. What happens next is a word that starts with “W” — waiver.

By May, I predict Julio asks for a waiver from the restitution, because he’ll say he has no business left, because none of his customers have any cash on account of the fact that none of them work. Which leads to the next waiver he’ll ask for — the prohibition against accepting EBT cards.

Hasn’t he suffered enough? It came out at the sentencing that Julio’s wife died and her funeral cost him $7,500. I guess that’s why he had to steal $38,000, to pay for the $7,500 funeral.

This all happened in the North End of Springfield. Yesterday, in the South End, the cops made another EBT-fraud raid, hitting a store that advertises “Spanish & American Products.”

Same alleged deals as Julio’s — $100 welfare transaction charged to the taxpayer, and the welfare recipient got $50. The “products” in the store included crack pipes and syringes. The police arrested a “New Haven man” named Diaz. I predict he’ll be looking for the full Julio — public defender, court translator, suspended sentence.

Repeat after me: If I ever get in a jam, I ask for no special favors. Just treat me like an illegal alien.

See Howie tomorrow at his book signing at Liquor ‘N More in South Dennis from 3-4:30 p.m.


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