Gender-neutral more important than reading, writing, arithmetic in D.C.

Watch your backs, D.C. residents: D.C. Councilman David Grosso is not seeking reelection to his at-large seat.

However, like the smell of reefer when a pothead pulls on a joint as he enters a supermarket, the councilman’s legacy will linger for generations if his colleagues don’t say good riddance.

What gives!

Mr. Grosso tried his best to piggyback on former at-large lawmaker David Catania, a Republican turned independent who couldn’t stomach the defense of one man-one woman marriage laws.

Voters played along for a few years, including reelecting him. But familiarity, well, bred voter discontent when Mr. Catania ran for mayor. Oh well.

The smoke surrounding Councilman Grosso has not yet cleared, as he could seek another citywide seat — council chairman, mayor or congressional delegate. Then, again, excuse moi.

See, the councilman wants to take a flyswatter to the term council “chairman” in the D.C. Code. The same goes for “manhole,” “fireman” and any other gender-revealing nouns, pronouns and adjectives.

“He” and “she,” “him” and “her,” and “his” and “hers,” for example, would become “they,” “them” and “theirs.”

At this early juncture, D.C. school teachers, lawyers and judges had better be mindful. Even “brother” and “sister” would disappear and be replaced with the term sibling (unless God forgives them because they know not what they did).

One doozy of a rewrite would fall under a major issue of Councilman Grosso’s human rights. With himself as one of City Hall’s most compassionate progressives, the council passed his legislative proposal regarding the “shackling of pregnant women and girls.”

Or would it get a pass?

How about honorifics? Would they be stricken from council resolutions and public hearings and discussions, too?

And doggone it, how much would all of this cost?

Councilman Grosso says nothing. “They” said it’s a matter of mere editing.

Yeah, right. That’s what the councilman and the majority of lawmakers who signed onto the Gendered Terms Modernization Amendment Act want you to believe.

But you know better, right? You know that the government doesn’t pass “free” laws.

Every thing the government does costs money — costs you money.

By the way, what are the nation’s capital’s rewrite specialists going to do when translating Spanish, French and other languages that pay homage to gender?

Please don’t snicker. This preposterous legislative proposal is as wacky as Mr. Grosso being chairman, rather chair, of the council’s Committee on Education, where focusing on teaching and learning reading, writing and arithmetic have become passe.

Adios, to Councilman Grosso.

⦁ Deborah Simmons can be contacted at [email protected].

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