You know President Trump’s proposed federal budget is on target when you hear the wailing of the tax-fattened hyenas whose snouts might soon be forcibly extracted from the trough.
“Expected cries of alarm,” the failing New York Times reported Friday, “came from scientists, human rights advocates, teachers, diplomats, artists and workers.”
Oh no, not workers! Or should I say “workers.” Because I doubt many of the so-called workers moaning about Trump’s proposed cuts have been working these last few decades at anything other than feathering their own nests.
Among the many things this budget does is call the bluff of the bloated, entrenched federal hackerama. These useless HR hangers-on are absolutely terrified that they might actually be separated from the federal mammary.
In the first “Ghostbusters” movie, there’s a great scene when the boys are getting booted from their academic sinecures. Dan Aykroyd warns them of the impending horror of having to go out and get a job — a real job.
“You don’t know what it’s like out there,” he says. “I’ve WORKED in the private sector. They expect results!”
Results? Imagine the horror of the pencil-pushers and the paper-shufflers. Results is a trigger word, a microaggression. That’s, like, hate speech. They need a safe space — their phony-baloney, six-figure federal jobs.
Last year, when their card-carrying fellow travelers in the fake news media were predicting a landslide for Hillary, huge numbers of federal hacks claimed they would quit if Trump was elected. The last poll, in late October, had 35 percent of the layabouts saying they might resign if Trump won.
But that was then, and this is now, and one of their union leaders is now saying that any layoffs — RIFs in hack lingo — will “undermine the mission” of the agencies.
Since Jan. 20, it appears that the only mission of some of these agencies is to undermine the new administration. As the duly elected president, Trump would seem to have not only the right, but the duty, to undermine the mission of those rats whose only mission seems to be to undermine him.
This was all so predictable, of course. More than 200 years ago, Thomas Jefferson said of the federal bureaucracy: “Vacancies by death are few, by resignation never.”
It’s truer today than ever. According to the Cato Institute, federal workers average $123,160 a year in pay and benefits, compared to $69,901 in the dreaded private sector. That’s a 76 percent income gap between the two sectors, up from 39 percent two decades ago.
Not to mention, it’s almost impossible to fire any of these sloths for just cause — look at the Department of Veterans Affairs. Public sector employees take 38 percent more time off than people with real jobs. And now they’re increasingly avoiding their own offices.
They “telecommute,” and what a joke that is, at least for federal employees. Thanks to direct deposit, they no longer even have to appear twice a month to pick up their paychecks. How overpaid are these slugs? Seven of the 10 U.S. counties with the highest per-capita income are inside the D.C. Beltway. Those who produce nothing are the most richly compensated.
And they still can’t figure out why everyone who actually works for a living voted for Trump.
So now we read the usual sob stories. The proposed cuts are “draconian,” the results will be “dire.” Trump is “taking a meat cleaver” to the “crown jewels” of the government. These are “critical revenue sources.” The Deep State operatives are shocked, shocked. How dare they cut PBS — what about “Sesame Street”? Oh, that’s right, HBO owns “Sesame Street” now. Never mind.
Well, what about the “cultural exchange programs”? And Legal Services? Shouldn’t taxpayers be forced to pay for radical lawyers for non-taxpayers and illegal immigrants to sue taxpayers for more welfare? What could possibly be fairer than that?
Since Nov. 8, millions of snowflakes have expressed their indignation over Trump. That’s right, their indignation.
“Indignation,” Marshall McLuhan once said, “endows the idiot with dignity.”
Now it’s the federal hacks’ turn to get mad. These idiots just don’t get it. The more indignant they get, the happier we get.
Order Howie’s new book, “Kennedy Babylon,” at his website, howiecarrshow.com.
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