The fake Indian is doing everything in her power to fight the scourge of global warming.
She’s “mostly flying commercial” — honest Injun, that’s what she said Wednesday in New Hampshire, and you can check out her Federal Election Commission (FEC) statements to prove it.
Her campaign “only” spent $132,000 on private jets in the last three months.
The polar-bear community is eternally grateful, Sen. Warren.
Can we agree that when it comes to protecting the planet, perhaps all of us should agree to fly “mostly” not on private jets?
I for one am willing to state — under oath, if necessary — that unlike the fake Indian, I did not fly once on a private jet in the last quarter. Or the quarter before that. Or the quarter before that….
That’s how deeply committed I am to polar bears.
My fellow Deplorables, will you join me in pledging not to take any private jets in this new quarter? It’s all about the planet, dude. I mean, like, totally….
The fake Indian was asked about this terrible sacrifice that she’s making for Gaia by one of her card-carrying fellow travelers at a New Hampshire Public Radio forum. As always when she’s speaking with a forked tongue, the fake Indian prefaced her remarks with a two-letter word, “So.”
“So,” she began, “I’ve mostly been flying commercial, um, but we’ve been trying to look at other ways that we can reduce our carbon footprint and it’s everything from the kind of car we drive, uh and down to… do we purchase offsets, can we make that work as a way to reduce the footprint?”
Obviously, this is an issue of sincerest concern to her. She’s just a no-nonsense grandma, the salt of the earth, Okie down to her toes, to coin a phrase. Back in Indian Territory, her mama and her paw-paw taught her to fly commercial. She doesn’t care about having no leg room in coach, screaming infants behind her, malfunctioning wifi, running out of good snacks before the flight attendants get to Row 35 — the fake Indian is down with being one of us.
Plus, she’s buying “offsets” — what the Catholic Church in the Middle Ages called “indulgences,” payments by sinners to reduce their punishment after death in purgatory.
All devout believers in the Church of Climate Change are deeply into indulgences, I mean offsets. Warren’s campaign earlier announced that her act of contrition for jetting around the country on private jets was $10,150 to something called “Native Energy.”
She’s certainly more devout than her opponent Mayor Pete Buttigieg, who spent $479,000 on private jets, and gave up only $1,900 on “offsets.”
Somewhere, Mayor Pete, a polar bear cub is tumbling off its melting ice floe into the frigid Arctic Ocean, and it’s all on you.
Joe Biden, meanwhile, spent $924,000 on private jets, and Bernie Sanders dropped $360,000.
After all, as Bernie likes to say, “Climate change is the single greatest threat facing our planet!”
Of course, when a college student on the West Coast asked Bernie a couple of months ago about his insistence on flying on private jets, the self-proclaimed tribune of the working class (who’s never worked a day in his 78 years) shrugged and said, “No, I’m not going to walk to California.”
Or, as one of Hillary Clinton’s coat holders told Politico about the Brooklyn Bolshevik’s flying traveling requirements during the 2016 general election:
“His royal Majesty, King Bernie Sanders, would only deign to leave his plush DC office or his brand new second home on the lake if he was flown around on a cushy private jet like a billionaire Master of the Universe….”
I’m trying not to let all this destroy my faith in the truthfulness of the leaders of the Democrat party when they preach the fire-and-brimstone doctrine of global cooling, er global warming, er climate change.
The other day, yet another new doomsday study was issued by some pearl-clutching “climatologists,” predicting imminent doom — but only in a few decades, enough decades, in fact, so that practically no one who heard the prophecy will live long enough to know whether the apocalypse actually arrives….
But the Beautiful People really do believe what they’re preaching, even if they don’t practice what they preach. That’s why the Obamas “only” spent $15 million on their new 29-acre beachfront estate and mansion on Martha’s Vineyard — because they truly believe that the entire East Coast will soon be washed away.
Just ask Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
It’s the Democrat party’s motto: Do as we say, not as we do.
(Check out Howie’s latest podcasts at howiecarrshow.com.)
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