In fact, sometimes life doesn't begin until after death, if you define the beginning of life as getting your first EBT card.
According to the state auditor's report on welfare abuse released yesterday, they found at least 42 loafers "whose benefits actually began after the recipients' dates of death."
This gives new meaning to the term "deadbeats."
In all, the state auditors found 1,164 deceased persons who had collected a total of $2.39 million. I've heard of a kiss in the mail, but this is more like necrophilia. You know that movie, "The Sixth Sense," where the little kid keeps saying, "I see dead people"?
I see dead Democrats.
Odd timing for this audit, though -- just a few days after the Legislature deep-sixed welfare reform for yet another year.
The report certainly shows the lengths the layabouts will go to rather than actually get a job. Not that they're exactly matching wits with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. The Mounties always get their man. The DTA -- the Department of Terrorist Assistance -- never gets their man. And that's the way they like it.
Some "deadbeats" are collecting under more than one Social Security number. Others are sharing a single number. Another thing the DTA doesn't check on -- those "self-reported Social Security numbers." The synonym for "self-reported" is "made up."
But DTA staffers wouldn't think of ever going after any of their, uh, clients. Professional courtesy and all that. According to the state auditor, 30,000 blank EBT cards have gone missing (the synonym for which is "been stolen"). Then there are all the "lost" EBT cards. Last week, the state Senate voted down an amendment to put photo IDs on the EBT cards. Almost 10,000 members of the non-working classes have received at least 10 replacement cards since 2006. One forgetful fellow "lost" 127 cards.
The vote not to even try to end this abuse was 30-8.
How about the welfare recipients' vacations? Can you guess what the No. 1 destination in Florida was? You got it: Orlando. In Nevada? Las Vegas, of course. Do you know what the No. 1 tourist attraction is in South Carolina? That's right, Myrtle Beach. Damn, you're good.
You know how the "advocates" are always saying these cards are mostly used to buy food? Then why are the top 10 outlets for EBT card use all banks -- you know, banks with ATM machines? And why do so many of the alleged "food transactions" end in even dollars?
Yesterday the TV stations decided they couldn't avoid mentioning the EBT scandal anymore. Some of them actually played it up big -- complete with chyrons reading "BREAKING NEWS."
Breaking news? Breaking to whom? Maybe to the deadbeats' greatest friend, Gov. Deval Patrick. I'm sure he'll correct everyone this morning. This isn't breaking news, these are just ... anecdotes.
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