hilemanhouse
12-04-2003, 06:36 PM
Looking the other way
Written by: Carolyn Hileman
How many times have you told your children that if they look away when they see someone do something wrong, they are just as guilty as the person who did it? I heard that a lot when I was growing up, now it is I who am saying that to my children. When I was younger I would try to argue my point with my parents, I never won of course. Because it was one of those simple truths, one you just couldn't argue against with any merits what so ever.
My first argument was, I didn't hurt anyone so why am I guilty? My Mom would gently explain to me, that if I saw someone kill someone and never told anyone that I was just as guilty as the person who pulled the trigger because I did nothing to stop them from doing it again and again. Hard words for a child to digest, I didn't know any murders so I figured I was OK. Then she told me if you see your brother steal a cookie from the cookie jar and don't tell, you might as well have taken that cookie yourself.
That one didn't work out to well because my theory was if I was just as guilty I would take a cookie too. My Mom though always had a back up plan, I got two spankings one for not telling and the other for stealing. My rat brother only got one because he told on both of us. That cookie didn't even taste good, probably because I knew if I had only asked she would have given me two. It is simply amazing the things you learn when you are a child and for the most part those lessons follow you.
Now when you are an adult, you chose which of the lessons your parents taught you are relevant to your situation at any given time. Sometimes you forget them, or simply decide that just because I know it is wrong does not mean I have the right to tell someone else what to do. My favorite and I am guilty of this one myself at times, They are adults they can do what they want. That is true, but if you know what they are doing is wrong and you follow them, does that make you just as wrong?
Take for instance abortion, you think that I am not going to get an abortion it is not my problem. Is it though, are you voting for people who fight for that right? If you are isn't that the same as looking the other way? Does that not make you responsible for babies being murdered, you looked the other way. Hard to imagine that your one vote could impact so much, but it does. It carries with it the responsibility to vote your conscience. I will not argue the fetus versus a life debate simply because the government has not even decided which it is. If it is for pro-choice it is a fetus, if it is a drunk driving campaign it is a life, you simply cannot have it both ways.
Then there is the issue of the Justices, You say you don't think it is right not to have a fair mixture of ideas on the court. But you will go out and vote for the very people who would keep it from happening. There is a lot of things you don't like about the people you vote for, but if you just hang on long enough it will get better. What happens while you are just hanging on, you are responsible for because you were looking the other way and just let it happen.
Yes, I know it is difficult to go against the grain, I have been there. Two very proud democrats raised me, and still today I hold to their core beliefs. But the party they belonged to did not speak for me. Once I explained to them why I could not be a good little democrat that it went against everything I had been taught and believed to be right. My parent's understood and supported me completely. I do not know if they ever changed parties, I never asked it was none of my business. I for one was not going to continue to look the other way and hope things would improve.
One day one of my children may come up to me and tell me that the party I belong to does not fit them either. I may have to take a closer look at what they are talking about, because I raise my children with the same values I was raised with. It could be that by that time I will have slipped into the looking the other way habit myself and I will owe it to them to investigate.
http://4dw.net/plastermania/texasborn.gif
Written by: Carolyn Hileman
How many times have you told your children that if they look away when they see someone do something wrong, they are just as guilty as the person who did it? I heard that a lot when I was growing up, now it is I who am saying that to my children. When I was younger I would try to argue my point with my parents, I never won of course. Because it was one of those simple truths, one you just couldn't argue against with any merits what so ever.
My first argument was, I didn't hurt anyone so why am I guilty? My Mom would gently explain to me, that if I saw someone kill someone and never told anyone that I was just as guilty as the person who pulled the trigger because I did nothing to stop them from doing it again and again. Hard words for a child to digest, I didn't know any murders so I figured I was OK. Then she told me if you see your brother steal a cookie from the cookie jar and don't tell, you might as well have taken that cookie yourself.
That one didn't work out to well because my theory was if I was just as guilty I would take a cookie too. My Mom though always had a back up plan, I got two spankings one for not telling and the other for stealing. My rat brother only got one because he told on both of us. That cookie didn't even taste good, probably because I knew if I had only asked she would have given me two. It is simply amazing the things you learn when you are a child and for the most part those lessons follow you.
Now when you are an adult, you chose which of the lessons your parents taught you are relevant to your situation at any given time. Sometimes you forget them, or simply decide that just because I know it is wrong does not mean I have the right to tell someone else what to do. My favorite and I am guilty of this one myself at times, They are adults they can do what they want. That is true, but if you know what they are doing is wrong and you follow them, does that make you just as wrong?
Take for instance abortion, you think that I am not going to get an abortion it is not my problem. Is it though, are you voting for people who fight for that right? If you are isn't that the same as looking the other way? Does that not make you responsible for babies being murdered, you looked the other way. Hard to imagine that your one vote could impact so much, but it does. It carries with it the responsibility to vote your conscience. I will not argue the fetus versus a life debate simply because the government has not even decided which it is. If it is for pro-choice it is a fetus, if it is a drunk driving campaign it is a life, you simply cannot have it both ways.
Then there is the issue of the Justices, You say you don't think it is right not to have a fair mixture of ideas on the court. But you will go out and vote for the very people who would keep it from happening. There is a lot of things you don't like about the people you vote for, but if you just hang on long enough it will get better. What happens while you are just hanging on, you are responsible for because you were looking the other way and just let it happen.
Yes, I know it is difficult to go against the grain, I have been there. Two very proud democrats raised me, and still today I hold to their core beliefs. But the party they belonged to did not speak for me. Once I explained to them why I could not be a good little democrat that it went against everything I had been taught and believed to be right. My parent's understood and supported me completely. I do not know if they ever changed parties, I never asked it was none of my business. I for one was not going to continue to look the other way and hope things would improve.
One day one of my children may come up to me and tell me that the party I belong to does not fit them either. I may have to take a closer look at what they are talking about, because I raise my children with the same values I was raised with. It could be that by that time I will have slipped into the looking the other way habit myself and I will owe it to them to investigate.
http://4dw.net/plastermania/texasborn.gif