azwhitewolf
08-08-2003, 02:16 AM
Yup... it's officially Friday! *How do you know? *You're reading...
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflo.gif Friday is AZWW's Wide World of Weird News Day http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflo.gif
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/28.gif Man carjacks car in his underwear. Captured after brief search (http://www.kypost.com/2003/08/07/car080703.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tombstone.gifCar with dead man given parking ticket (http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,6887881^13762 ,00.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/ugh.gif Order "big meal" at Taco Bell, get free gas for a year. *Ya think?! (http://www.tacobell.com/gas/)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/peepwallA.gifCouple buys new camcorder for son - son discovers camcorder has a surprise (http://www.click10.com/news/2387841/detail.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/fwork.gifIdiots and gas. *What's the attraction? *When pouring gas into a carburetor to get the car started, make sure that the garage door is open, or the gas fumes will open the garage door for you (http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/topstory/2035832)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin2.gifHow much is a penis worth? *To a 66-year old man, $5.3 million if you amputate it without permission (http://www.timesrecordnews. com/trn/local_news/article/0,1891,TRN_5784_2161 824,00.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/anon.gif Nearby workers become suspicious when guy withdraws ATM money day after day wearing motorcycle helmet, but not riding motorcyle (http://www.wishtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=1390052&nav=0Ra7HIr3)
Bus driver drinks until 4:00am. *Shift starts at 4:10am. * (http://story.news.yahoo.com /news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=2&u=/nm/20030806/od_nm/odd_czech_driver_dc)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tinfoil.gif This won't help the campaign trail: *Larry Flynt sued over sex toys found in company dishwasher. (http://story.news.yahoo.com /news?tmpl=story&cid=857&ncid=757&e=10&u=/nm/20030806/od_uk_nm/oukoe_politics_calif ornia_flynt)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/barf.gif Overturned truck of cattle parts has motorists throwing up (http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/news/80503_local_smellywr eck.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/fire.gif Try and arrest me NOW! *Man lights self on fire to keep cops from arresting him. (http://www.billingsgazette. com/index.php?id=1&display=rednews/2003/08/05/build/wyoming/30-gillette.inc)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/clap.gif Woman survives after 2 inch nail portrudes skull. *X-ray picture included (http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/news/80503_state_nail.htm l)
Thought the camcorder was bad? *Try calling Verizon to complain about the rate increase... (http://www.sptimes.com/2003/08/05/Business/Callers_to_Verizon_g e.shtml)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/noway.gifMan apologizes after killing man in dispute of who gets more beer (http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/08052003_nw_beerstab .html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/28.gif Construction worker survives 30,000 volt shock. * (http://www.wftv.com/news/2379335/detail.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/dead.gif Man who legally changed his name to Jack @ss commits suicide (http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2003/08/01/news/mtregional/znews08.txt)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/jacka.gifSpringer guest, 29, show can't contain his glee of dumping mother of his seven-year-old child after nine years together. Prosecutors can't contain their glee when they do math and mom is only 22.. (http://story.news.yahoo.com /news?tmpl=story&cid=816&ncid=816&e=2&u=/ap/20030805/ap_on_fe_st/from_tv_to_prison)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/bowlingpin.gifA fool and his money are soon parted: *Winner of largest Powerball jackpot loses $545,000 because he left car running outside a strip club at 2:30am (http://www.dailymail.com/news/News/2003080546/)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/JEDIpinkietoo.gifMan cited for disorderly conduct for poking Sesame Street character "Telly" in the stomach with an umbrella (http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/6462905.htm)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/ghostface.gifWoman stabs man, blames it on ghost of man's dead ex-wife (http://www.centralmaine.com /news/stories/030805hartland.shtml )
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gifLawmaker s spend tax dollars to name popcorn the official snack of Illinois (http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/04popcorn.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/animal_elkgrin.gif Farmer serenades pigs, torks off neighbors (http://story.news.yahoo.com /news?tmpl=story&cid=1517&e=19&u=/afp/britain_pigs_offbeat )
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggun.gif Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, Howard Stern and Donald Trump licensed to carry guns in NY; Joan Rivers, Steven Seagal and William F. Buckley had gun-license renewals rejected by NY City Police (http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0804stars-guns-ON.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/bawl.gif Man dumped by computer - before any women have the chance to. (http://www.twincities.com/mld/pioneerpress/living/6438763.htm)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif Man discovers $500,000 appeared in his bank account. *Spends half of it before bank finds mistake. (http://www.9news.com/storyfull-co.asp?id=17223)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/banghead.gif Another moron and his gas can... (http://www.canada.com/news/story.asp?id=266CA84 2-BCA2-4FD9-B3FD-7DC0FB715A8D)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/yelclap.gif AZWW's Pick
If your idea of revenge is smashing your van into your wife's car 30 times, at least make sure you're actually smashing your wife's car. (http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/0804SmashedCar04-ON.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/jacka.gifDemocrats in California threaten to recall any Republican-elected governor as a result of current recall (http://abcnews.go.com/sections/wnt/Politics/calif_recall030804.h tml)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/blues.gifMarketers are trying to get around "do not call" registry (http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/pending/callscam.asp)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/surrender.gifAttenti on Seattle bus drivers: Spraying yourself with mace NOT an effective way to get a day off (http://seattletimes.nwsourc e.com/html/localnews/2001374193_metro04m. html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/ostrich.gif Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee wants "Black" names for hurricanes (http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ ID=33896)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/crazy.gif Man who "can't stand sight of Smart Cars" sets 15 of the Dailmer-Chrysler automobiles ablaze with cigarette lighter (http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml?ty pe=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=3208135§ion= news)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif Man catches burglar in house. Burglar tries to buy freedom with $100 bill featuring President Bush. (http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/08042003_bb_burglar. html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/em31.gifIntoxicated man gets out of car, jumps into river, decides to take clothes off, walks out of river, gets hit by car. (http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20030803/NEWS17/308030005)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/eh.gif Government agency says woman needs building permit for inflatable kiddie pool (http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/08032003_bb_pool.htm l)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/ref.gifMall infested with ants because animal-rights-activist mall owner won't allow them to be exterminated, insists they be "moved" (http://www.statesman.com/metrostate/content/metro/kelso/0703/070603.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/withstupid.gif When flying, don't put notes in your luggage that say "Stay the [expletive] out of my bag you [expletive] sucker. Have you found a [expletive] bomb yet?" (http://www.boston.com/dailyglobe2/214/metro/Teen_arrested_at_Log an_for_alleged_bomb_ threat_in_his_bag+.s html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/yelclap.gif AZWW's Pick67 year old man opens fire on and wounds drug-dealers already engaged in gun-fight. *Tells police, "Next time, bring body bags". * (http://www.charleston.net/stories/080203/loc_02shootingx.shtm l)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotate_on_head.gifSp am leads little girl to ask her AOL executive father, 'daddy, do I need a bigger penis?'" (http://abcnews.go.com/sections/2020/SciTech/2020_spam030801.html )
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/nopityA.gif Drunk flasher gets penis bitten by dog after pushing it through woman's fence. * (http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml?ty pe=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=3202536§ion= news/)
If printer ink were gasoline, it would cost $175,000 to fill your car - interesting article! (http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-zay03.html)
That's all the news that's fit to print!
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflo.gif Friday is AZWW's Wide World of Weird News Day http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflo.gif
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/28.gif Man carjacks car in his underwear. Captured after brief search (http://www.kypost.com/2003/08/07/car080703.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tombstone.gifCar with dead man given parking ticket (http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,6887881^13762 ,00.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/ugh.gif Order "big meal" at Taco Bell, get free gas for a year. *Ya think?! (http://www.tacobell.com/gas/)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/peepwallA.gifCouple buys new camcorder for son - son discovers camcorder has a surprise (http://www.click10.com/news/2387841/detail.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/fwork.gifIdiots and gas. *What's the attraction? *When pouring gas into a carburetor to get the car started, make sure that the garage door is open, or the gas fumes will open the garage door for you (http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/topstory/2035832)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin2.gifHow much is a penis worth? *To a 66-year old man, $5.3 million if you amputate it without permission (http://www.timesrecordnews. com/trn/local_news/article/0,1891,TRN_5784_2161 824,00.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/anon.gif Nearby workers become suspicious when guy withdraws ATM money day after day wearing motorcycle helmet, but not riding motorcyle (http://www.wishtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=1390052&nav=0Ra7HIr3)
Bus driver drinks until 4:00am. *Shift starts at 4:10am. * (http://story.news.yahoo.com /news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=2&u=/nm/20030806/od_nm/odd_czech_driver_dc)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tinfoil.gif This won't help the campaign trail: *Larry Flynt sued over sex toys found in company dishwasher. (http://story.news.yahoo.com /news?tmpl=story&cid=857&ncid=757&e=10&u=/nm/20030806/od_uk_nm/oukoe_politics_calif ornia_flynt)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/barf.gif Overturned truck of cattle parts has motorists throwing up (http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/news/80503_local_smellywr eck.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/fire.gif Try and arrest me NOW! *Man lights self on fire to keep cops from arresting him. (http://www.billingsgazette. com/index.php?id=1&display=rednews/2003/08/05/build/wyoming/30-gillette.inc)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/clap.gif Woman survives after 2 inch nail portrudes skull. *X-ray picture included (http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/news/80503_state_nail.htm l)
Thought the camcorder was bad? *Try calling Verizon to complain about the rate increase... (http://www.sptimes.com/2003/08/05/Business/Callers_to_Verizon_g e.shtml)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/noway.gifMan apologizes after killing man in dispute of who gets more beer (http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/08052003_nw_beerstab .html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/28.gif Construction worker survives 30,000 volt shock. * (http://www.wftv.com/news/2379335/detail.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/dead.gif Man who legally changed his name to Jack @ss commits suicide (http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2003/08/01/news/mtregional/znews08.txt)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/jacka.gifSpringer guest, 29, show can't contain his glee of dumping mother of his seven-year-old child after nine years together. Prosecutors can't contain their glee when they do math and mom is only 22.. (http://story.news.yahoo.com /news?tmpl=story&cid=816&ncid=816&e=2&u=/ap/20030805/ap_on_fe_st/from_tv_to_prison)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/bowlingpin.gifA fool and his money are soon parted: *Winner of largest Powerball jackpot loses $545,000 because he left car running outside a strip club at 2:30am (http://www.dailymail.com/news/News/2003080546/)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/JEDIpinkietoo.gifMan cited for disorderly conduct for poking Sesame Street character "Telly" in the stomach with an umbrella (http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/6462905.htm)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/ghostface.gifWoman stabs man, blames it on ghost of man's dead ex-wife (http://www.centralmaine.com /news/stories/030805hartland.shtml )
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gifLawmaker s spend tax dollars to name popcorn the official snack of Illinois (http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/04popcorn.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/animal_elkgrin.gif Farmer serenades pigs, torks off neighbors (http://story.news.yahoo.com /news?tmpl=story&cid=1517&e=19&u=/afp/britain_pigs_offbeat )
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggun.gif Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, Howard Stern and Donald Trump licensed to carry guns in NY; Joan Rivers, Steven Seagal and William F. Buckley had gun-license renewals rejected by NY City Police (http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0804stars-guns-ON.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/bawl.gif Man dumped by computer - before any women have the chance to. (http://www.twincities.com/mld/pioneerpress/living/6438763.htm)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif Man discovers $500,000 appeared in his bank account. *Spends half of it before bank finds mistake. (http://www.9news.com/storyfull-co.asp?id=17223)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/banghead.gif Another moron and his gas can... (http://www.canada.com/news/story.asp?id=266CA84 2-BCA2-4FD9-B3FD-7DC0FB715A8D)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/yelclap.gif AZWW's Pick
If your idea of revenge is smashing your van into your wife's car 30 times, at least make sure you're actually smashing your wife's car. (http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/0804SmashedCar04-ON.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/jacka.gifDemocrats in California threaten to recall any Republican-elected governor as a result of current recall (http://abcnews.go.com/sections/wnt/Politics/calif_recall030804.h tml)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/blues.gifMarketers are trying to get around "do not call" registry (http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/pending/callscam.asp)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/surrender.gifAttenti on Seattle bus drivers: Spraying yourself with mace NOT an effective way to get a day off (http://seattletimes.nwsourc e.com/html/localnews/2001374193_metro04m. html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/ostrich.gif Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee wants "Black" names for hurricanes (http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ ID=33896)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/crazy.gif Man who "can't stand sight of Smart Cars" sets 15 of the Dailmer-Chrysler automobiles ablaze with cigarette lighter (http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml?ty pe=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=3208135§ion= news)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif Man catches burglar in house. Burglar tries to buy freedom with $100 bill featuring President Bush. (http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/08042003_bb_burglar. html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/em31.gifIntoxicated man gets out of car, jumps into river, decides to take clothes off, walks out of river, gets hit by car. (http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20030803/NEWS17/308030005)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/eh.gif Government agency says woman needs building permit for inflatable kiddie pool (http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/08032003_bb_pool.htm l)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/ref.gifMall infested with ants because animal-rights-activist mall owner won't allow them to be exterminated, insists they be "moved" (http://www.statesman.com/metrostate/content/metro/kelso/0703/070603.html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/withstupid.gif When flying, don't put notes in your luggage that say "Stay the [expletive] out of my bag you [expletive] sucker. Have you found a [expletive] bomb yet?" (http://www.boston.com/dailyglobe2/214/metro/Teen_arrested_at_Log an_for_alleged_bomb_ threat_in_his_bag+.s html)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/yelclap.gif AZWW's Pick67 year old man opens fire on and wounds drug-dealers already engaged in gun-fight. *Tells police, "Next time, bring body bags". * (http://www.charleston.net/stories/080203/loc_02shootingx.shtm l)
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotate_on_head.gifSp am leads little girl to ask her AOL executive father, 'daddy, do I need a bigger penis?'" (http://abcnews.go.com/sections/2020/SciTech/2020_spam030801.html )
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/nopityA.gif Drunk flasher gets penis bitten by dog after pushing it through woman's fence. * (http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml?ty pe=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=3202536§ion= news/)
If printer ink were gasoline, it would cost $175,000 to fill your car - interesting article! (http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-zay03.html)
That's all the news that's fit to print!