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View Full Version : How to Stop Homicide Bombers


noPEACEwithoutJUSTICE
07-16-2003, 12:25 PM
We can solve the Israel homicide bombing problem RIGHT NOW. *We can put a stop to the Palestinian's need to blow themselves up in the entrances of malls and on buses and in every public place they want to "shower the people they hate with human body parts..." *Hey, that sounds like a great parody of a James Taylor song, eh? http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/eh.gif *Maybe for another time... *I want to suggest a way to render the Palestinian homicide bomber helpless, and render subsequent actions by Muslims totally ineffective.

Here goes: I propose that every entrance to every shopping mall, every dance club, every airport and on every bus and in every general public gathering, large numbers of swine should be present. *For every so-many-people at an event, let's say for every 200 people in larger areas--less for small shops and stores--a number of swine would be required to be within the premises, equally interspersed amongst the populace. *Little pot-belly pigs for movie theaters and street vendors shops, larger hogs for rock concerts and rallies and religious events. *http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung/tiere/animal-smiley-072.gif

The pigs would be domesticated and clean and perfectly well-behaved. http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung/tiere/animal-smiley-072.gif

They could be trained to "sniff" out explosives (they have great noses) or as guard dogs for crowd control, but would mainly be deterrents to murderous homicide bombers in another way... http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung/tiere/animal-smiley-072.gif

First, their presence. *The mere presence of a pig should be enough of a deterrent to keep Muslim extremist wackos away from the general populace. *http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung/tiere/animal-smiley-072.gif *If the "peaceful" Muslims don't like the pigs, they should get their wacko sisters and brethren to cease and desist their murderous activities. *The new program, "Pigs in Public", would be a great catalyst for Palestinians to start taking responsibility for those less-than-amicable among them. *

Second, a well advertised demonstration of what happens when a pig blows up...full Hollywood blood spatter, entrails, film of hog parts being thrown in every direction for several thousand square feet, etc. *The fact that pigs would be present at a mall or a dance club and said pigs' offal would explode all over everyone if a bomb was detonated, including the homicide bomber, should be enough to stop the activity. *

(Example: *Chicken is shown here, but you get the general idea.) http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung/waffen/violent-smiley-003.gif*

The exploding pig would render the bomber's remains unacceptable to Allah's plan for the afterlife, and generally unappealing to the 72 male virgin camels awaiting him there.

Pigs should be at every airport, on every plane--the program here would be called, "When Pigs Fly". There will be little pot belly pigs on buses, etc. *

The President could adopt a pig--he could be the country's First Pig, and a symbol of what we think about unseemly militant Muslims and those who would use the least among them as human fodder. *

PETA could hardly fight this--Pigs would gain status as the peace keepers of the world.

I know Israelis have a "thing" about pigs, too, but they won't be on the menu--just on the premises. *

As has been noted in other postings online and in articles praising pigs, they are clean and generally better behaved than dogs. *They can also be trained to be very effective guard animals. *Larger pigs could render Palestinian bombers helpless.

I'll do my best to forward this to Ariel Sharon along with a proposal to write the short educational video "This Little Pig Went to Market..." and subsequent PSA's to be broadcast throughout the Middle East and around the world.

By the way, I'm not kidding. *I've never been more serious in my life. *I know you're saying, 'In a pig's eye', but I really think this could work.http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung/tiere/animal-smiley-072.gif

Consider this essay the "shot across the bow" of Muslim wackos. *You can't barbeque pork without getting some on you!http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung/tiere/animal-smiley-072.gif

NWGOPMom
07-16-2003, 01:19 PM
This is a terrific idea. They can be members of a U.N. or coalition backed peacekeeping force that are fed by caretakers. They can be trained to stand guard in all of the places you mentioned and sound a warning when they sniff out suspect material.

With the Muslim's total disdain for everything pork, this could really work.

pRIMrose
07-16-2003, 02:07 PM
Quote[/b] ]I propose that every entrance to every shopping mall, every dance club, every airport and on every bus and in every general public gathering, large numbers of swine should be present.

A few well placed Playboy and Penthouse billboards probably wouldn't hurt either. A "pig" by any name ya know. http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laff.gif

NPWJ ~ I think you've hit on a solution. http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/twothumbsup.gif http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

NWGOPMom
07-16-2003, 07:54 PM
I think each pig should wear one of those little tunic things like seeing eye dogs and they should have names printed on them that are done up in Yiddish and/or the official Israeli language. Those dudes from Palestine can read that.

noPEACEwithoutJUSTICE
07-17-2003, 09:14 AM
Go Mo-om, Go Mo-om!

The GOPUSA logo could be discreetly added to the bottom...

NWGOPMom
07-17-2003, 12:22 PM
Quote[/b] (noPEACEwithoutJUSTI CE @ July 17, 2003 -- 6:14 am)]The GOPUSA logo could be discreetly added to the bottom...
Ouch! I'm not so sure Bobby would like that. Don't want to lead them crazies back to us somehow. We need to be "covert" operatives. We could have implants put in the pigs so if they ever do get blown up there would be something that would say, this pig poison all over you dirty terrorists is "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" ala Toby Keith!

noPEACEwithoutJUSTICE
07-17-2003, 12:56 PM
Like pork pinatas?

Maybe like pork pop-guns with little signs that say, "Surprise! Welcome to Hell!"

NWGOPMom
07-17-2003, 01:41 PM
Quote[/b] (noPEACEwithoutJUSTI CE @ July 17, 2003 -- 9:56 am)]Like pork pinatas? *

Maybe like pork pop-guns with little signs that say, "Surprise! Welcome to Hell!"
Oooooh! I'm likin' it! Pork Pinata's. So, when do we start? Let's a find a great pig farm and send these porkers off to "boot camp" and get going on the plan, man. I think they should all be female also. It's not enough that it's a pig, but what an additional insult if it's a WOMAN pig! Yeehaw!

noPEACEwithoutJUSTICE
07-17-2003, 01:58 PM
Quote[/b] ]I think they should all be female also.

Smarter and maternal. Like a pig version of your grandmother...

"Don't mess with me or mine,
I'm the ever watchful swine.
Don't bother working up a whine--
Keep your bombs in Palestine."

Floridaguy
07-17-2003, 02:51 PM
Well now, this has become an interesting thread. *http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif *I don't doubt that this might work, but I believe Hamas or whoever would just avoid using suicide bombers and would try to target the pigs with bullets, given that they would not be trying to avoid them as well as civilians or soldiers would. They would take potshots at the pigs whenever, wherever they could, and eventually, if they killed enough pigs, or there weren't enough pigs to go around to replace the shot ones, then they would eventually resort to the suicide bombing again. *http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif *From their perspective, having lots of pigs to aim at would be great, because they think pigs are a wholly unpure animal as it is. I am surprised that they don't try to eradicate pigs around Israel as it is. On another note, if neither the Jewish people or the Moslems eat pigs, or would have need for pigs, I suppose it could stand to reason that there currently are no pigs for the most part in Israel?

http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cowboy7.gif

NWGOPMom
07-17-2003, 03:49 PM
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cowboy7.gif you really had to come in to this one and rain on our fun didn't you? I still like the idea and perhaps it could work.

noPEACEwithoutJUSTICE
07-17-2003, 04:19 PM
Current Pig population in Israel: 155,000 (http://www.thepigsite.com/FeaturedArticle/Default.asp?AREA=Mar kets&Display=858)

These are, of course, 2002 numbers. I'm uncertain how static this population may be.

These are, I believe, NOT trained pigs to date.

29,500 in Egypt
8,000 in Morocco
5,700 in Algeria
6,000 in Tunisia
64,000 in Lebanon

That's 113,200 in the rest of the Mideast combined and 155,000 in Israel alone. Plenty o' Pigs. If they're stupid enough to target pigs, that's one less bullet spent on innocent Israelis.

There are only 770 in Syria, and no records for Iran, Iraq, Jordan, etc, on the site....get on board, Floridaguy!

Pigs are smart.

About a year ago, I know a lot of Iowa farmers that would have given hogs away to the program...

For me to offer an alternative market for small pigs or even large hogs...well, the farmers may carry me around on a dais feeding me BBQ pork ribs all day long. http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laff.gif

noPEACEwithoutJUSTICE
07-17-2003, 04:27 PM
59,138,000 Pigs in the USA.





[editors note: This does not include any of those that are hunted as a part of the Las Vegas, Nevada nude "Bambi" paint-ball hunting expeditions.]

NWGOPMom
07-17-2003, 06:14 PM
NPWJ- http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflo.gif http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflo.gif Hey, I'm with you.

Floridaguy
07-17-2003, 07:42 PM
alright, forget the logic, send in the swine! http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cowboy7.gif

Charie
08-07-2003, 12:15 PM
If the terrorists decide to lob bombs at said swine, you're likely to have "PIGS IN SPACE".

Quote[/b] ]something that would say, this pig poison all over you dirty terrorists is "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" ala Toby Keith!

I vote that the "pig tag" would inform IN CAPITAL LETTERS: THIS PIG POISON ALL OVER YOU DIRTY TERRORISTS IS COMPLIMENTS OF THE DEMOCRAT NATIONAL COMMITTEE LOCATED AT ___ .

NWGOPMom
08-07-2003, 11:08 PM
Quote[/b] (Charie @ Aug. 07, 2003 -- 9:15 am)]I vote that the "pig tag" would inform IN CAPITAL LETTERS: *THIS PIG POISON ALL OVER YOU DIRTY TERRORISTS IS COMPLIMENTS OF THE DEMOCRAT NATIONAL COMMITTEE LOCATED AT ___ .
Oooh, good one Charie!! That way they won't trace them bad pigs back to us!

azwhitewolf
08-07-2003, 11:48 PM
This is great.

We can keep terrorists from their virgins, AND we get to tork off the PETA people at the same time!

http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/yelclap.gif

noPEACEwithoutJUSTICE
08-08-2003, 10:03 AM
Good for the pig, too. A well-trained pig operative would be very valuable.

Good for the pig farmer--not to mention the new industry of pig training.

A dog would work for every conceivable reason EXCEPT as THE physical deterrent for a bomber.

Any incident of bombing should also include a "hogwash". A "hogwash", applied after all evidence was gathered, etc. would be a pig intestine soap/wash-down of the entire area. The "hogwash" should also be applied liberally to every area in Israel. (Just between you and me, it wouldn't even need to have any pork by-products in it, just the label would be enough, "Hogwash Anti-Terrorism Pre-Treatment".)

Terri
08-09-2003, 04:38 PM
http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflo.gif

I think we could set up our own pig exportation business.

http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cowboy7.gif I don't think you realize how many piglets a sow can produce. This would me a huge moneymaker.

And since neither Palestinians or Jews eat pork the pigs would have a much higher calling than they do here in the US.

Let's do sew the http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/gopusa.gif logo on the pigs. We'll make Bobby rich. http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

NWGOPMom
08-09-2003, 07:33 PM
Quote[/b] (noPEACEwithoutJUSTI CE @ Aug. 08, 2003 -- 7:03 am)]Any incident of bombing should also include a "hogwash". *A "hogwash", applied after all evidence was gathered, etc. would be a pig intestine soap/wash-down of the entire area. *The "hogwash" should also be applied liberally to every area in Israel. *(Just between you and me, it wouldn't even need to have any pork by-products in it, just the label would be enough, "Hogwash Anti-Terrorism Pre-Treatment".)
NPWJ - this is getting better all the time! I like the hogwash idea also. Sounds like we better put together a marketing plan and get some financing on this gig. What do you think?

noPEACEwithoutJUSTICE
08-11-2003, 11:02 AM
I'm telling you, any decent Muslim terrorist worth his weight in pickled-pigs-feet wouldn't DARE blow his precious entrails through a city bus that's been guaranteed clean by "Hogwash Bus and Surface Cleaner."

And no Islamist would even think about exploding his "head and shoulders, knees and toes" (knees and toes, knees and toes) if there was a chance they'd be mingling with hog jowls and de facto pork patties on the dance floors of popular clubs.

Training the pigs to sniff for bombs would add even more to the equation. Bombers usually try to set off their explosives if they are caught, killing themselves and the unfortunate heroes who catch them. What if they're "caught" by a 1200+lb State Fair Champion swine? (Read about Roscoe.) (http://www.dmregister.com/business/stories/c4789013/21723988.html) Would they be as quick to pull the rip cord or flip the switch if they knew 1200 lbs of pork offal would go KABLOOIE right along with them??

Pigs are fast, they can be very aggressive, and they are smart--unlike most Palestinian terrorists.

Pigs also taste good grilled up about an inch thick with BBQ sauce, but I digress....

noPEACEwithoutJUSTICE
08-12-2003, 11:27 AM
I'm starting to wonder if we should get started ASAP on the pig solution... (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,94444,00.html )

NWGOPMom
08-12-2003, 12:18 PM
Let's go! What do we need to get started? http://gopusa.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif

noPEACEwithoutJUSTICE
08-12-2003, 03:11 PM
Investors, money, consultants, veterinarians, trainers, a selection process, the Israeli and other governments on board...

It'd be nice to develop a prototype...I'll call up the local FFA (Future Farmers of America) Chapter and see if an enterprising young pig handler wants to become famous...

Need to train the pig to sniff out explosive material, and other olfactory indicators of terrorist activity...like the smell of unbathed Arab men between the age of 21-35.

The biggest part of using the pig is the deterrent for suicide bombers. The closer the pig can get to the potential bomber the less likely the bomber will pull the cord. Any incidents of bombing after the installment of the program should show deliberately the co-mingling of what's left of the pig being collected along with what's left of the Muslim.

Pigs will be trained to "tackle" and subdue suicide bombers, Lying on top of their targets as a deterrent to detonation and a prevention of loss of life.

Even if the pig isn't a super-huge one, say 600 lbs--that's a lot of deterrent laying on top of you...

Little pot-belly Vietnamese pigs could be included on international flights and all flights of potential terrorist interest. Either live or "dead" pigs can be used, potentially.

Killing of a Pig Officer will be prosecuted like current laws prohibiting the killing of police dogs.