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Then, swing by a few sites in Texas to tell soldiers they're "fighting and dying for lies." Fort Hood -- home of the 4th Infantry Division -- might work. These soldiers that I covered for FOX News have already spent a year in Iraq -- and they are getting ready to go again! They clearly need your help because they are reenlisting at a phenomenal pace -- the unit has already exceeded its retention goals for the entire year.

The Burn Unit at Brooke Army Medical Center at Fort Sam Houston would surely have a few of the soldiers you claim to support; perhaps they'd be interested to hear your opinions about the low value of their disfiguring sacrifices. CENTCOM, Fort Stewart, Camp Lejeune and Fort Bragg, the home of our Special Forces, are all "must sees" along the way.

Finally, Jane, you'll want to finish in our nation's capital. When you get there, pick up Teddy Kennedy and Dick Durbin. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when they relate their historical analogies to the boys over at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and the National Naval Medical Center.

Be sure to visit the graves of America's heroes at Arlington Cemetery before making your final stop at a polished granite wall on the National Mall. There, you will find inscribed the names of 58,249 heroes you spat upon when perched atop that VC gun.

Hopefully at some point during your Jihadist journey, you will bump into Sgt. Christopher Missick of the 319th Signal Battalion. While in Iraq, Missick met hundreds of good Americans through his blog, "A Line in the Sand." Home now, he and a fellow veteran are driving around the country -- fueled by conventional gasoline -- to meet some of the patriots -- his "web of support" -- who sent letters, packages and prayers. He wants to personally thank them and "meet the heart of America."

That's the kind of support the troops appreciate, not your caravan of craven critics.

Author's note: In last week's column, Sen. Dick Durbin of Pol Pot fame was misidentified as being from Ohio. While readers in Illinois were appreciative of his relocation, I regret the embarrassment it caused our friends in the Buckeye State.

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COPYRIGHT 2005 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.

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Note -- The opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions, views, and/or philosophy of GOPUSA.

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