Mr. President! Free Border Patrol Agents Ramos and Compean!

Mr. President! Free Border Patrol Agents Ramos and Compean! Please join fellow GOPUSA activists in petitioning President Bush for a full pardon for Agents Jose Compean and Ignacio Ramos.

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FRANCE -- "Hanoi Jane" Fonda seems to have tired of her moniker. The wilted flower child who firmly established her place in American history when she mounted a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun has decided it's time to teach a whole new generation to blame America first. If she actually goes through with her plans for a new protest movement, she may well become known as "Jihadist Jane." It has a better ring. More alliteration.

Fonda says she wants to criss-cross the nation in a bus powered by vegetable oil, advocating the end of U.S. military operations in Iraq. She's inviting the families of war veterans to ride along as props because, she says, the veterans she met while hawking her autobiography encouraged her to "break her silence."

Unfortunately, her publicists won't give the names of any veterans slated to join her tour, and the only notable encounter she's had with a veteran recently ended with her wiping that wheelchair-bound hero's saliva off her face. "I've decided I'm coming out," she said. "It's another example of the government lying to the American people in order to get us into war." She added that, "It's going to be pretty exciting." Maybe. Fonda recognizes that she carries "a lot of baggage" -- and she wasn't talking about the stuff removed by her plastic surgeon.

One way Fonda can overcome the lack of enthusiasm for her "nationwide tour," is to grant "exclusive access" to journalists who could help her tell her story. One suggestion would be to include NBC anchorman Brian Williams, who could put the tour and the war in historical perspective. After all, it was Williams' brilliant insight during a recent broadcast that revealed to the American public what they never previously knew -- that the first few American presidents were "terrorists." Another suggestion is to include former CNN correspondent Peter Arnett. Arnett, who makes his home in Baghdad, would do a great job of explaining the war and its meaning -- from the terrorists' point of view.

Another A-list guest Fonda should include is Pennsylvania Lt. Gov. Catherine Baker Knoll. It seems Ms. Knoll likes to crash the funerals of fallen heroes and hand out bumper stickers and yard signs. Liberals started this practice a few years ago when they turned the funeral of Sen. Paul Wellstone into a foot-stompin', heart-thumpin', hand-clappin', barn-burnin', get-out-the-vote affair. But when Knoll showed up -- uninvited -- to the funeral of Marine Staff Sgt. Joseph Goodrich to assure the grieving family that, "Our government is against this war," it crossed the line of decency, making her a perfect candidate to join Jihad Jane.

Finally, Fonda needs to select an exciting itinerary. Herewith, are a few suggestions:

Jane, start in the South. Southerners are naturally hospitable. Take in the D-Day Museum in New Orleans. It's full of surprises. You like the canard that "Iraq had nothing to do with Sept. 11." Well, the Germans didn't attack us at Pearl Harbor, but we fought them anyhow. A bit of advice if I may: Bring your own mechanic. Though the south has its fair share of farms, Cooter's Garage outlets, and NASCAR fans, no self-respecting mechanic is going to fix a broken down vegetable oil-powered bus.

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