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Palindrome Politics in Review
By Mike Bayham
December 30, 2002

A palindrome is a word or phrase that can be reversed yet retain the exact same spelling. One of the most famous palindromes was reportedly said by Napoleon when he uttered "able was I ere I saw Elba," the setting of his comment being appropriately indicative of the reversal of fortune he encountered as the one time master of Europe was en route to an island exile.

The year 2002 is also a palindrome in type though in chronology of events it was hardly balanced. Regardless of their timing, 2002 would be a year that will be remembered for its non-literal "reverses."

Though this column is technically dedicated to the top political stories of the year, it would be more accurate to say that it's really about the last three months since the first three quarters of the year were rather dull and unremarkable with only a few exceptions. The latter fourth on the other hand was chock full of interesting stories that more than made up for the relatively boring period between January and September.

Contained within the confines of this article are what I consider to be the thirteen most important political stories of the year. I chose to cite thirteen because the quantity of stories merited expansion from the traditional Lettermanesque "top ten" listing and that the number itself would be very apropos considering that this has been a rather unlucky year for a number of politicians, including yours truly. The stories have also been ranked in order of importance, regardless of how newsworthy the media barons have determined them to be in all of their "infamous" wisdom.

13. Adios Condit, Traficant -- This has been a rather cursed year for several of the Beltway's most prominent residents. However the new millennium could not have been worse for two once formerly obscure people who have since become household names. In 2001, Capitol Hill intern Chandra Levy mysteriously disappeared which created a media circus that centered on her relationship with her boss, California Congressman Gary Condit. Condit entered his reelection with several other obstacles before him including an unfavorably redrawn congressional district, opposition from his own party and having to face a former top aide in the primary. Of course there was also the task of having to shake off the public's suspicion that Condit had possibly played a role in the vanishing act of his paramour.

In May, Levy's skeletal remains were found in a park which provided evidence that absolved Condit from any connection to the crime though the discovery of her body was not made soon enough to save Condit's political career. The embattled incumbent was resoundingly defeated for renomination two months before by his Cassius challenger. Jim Traficant, the flamboyant Youngstown congressman and star of C-SPAN, also saw his political career indefinitely interrupted when he was convicted of corruption in office and sent to prison.

12. Mice That Roared -- In what has to be the story that has unfairly been relegated as a non-story is the impact independent candidates had on the 2002 elections. Independent candidates, who came up short in terms of wins and losses, succeeded in tipping the political balances to Democrats in safe GOP states such as Oklahoma, where former Congressman Steve Largent was the Republican nominee, and Arizona. In New York, the Independence Party nominee loomed as a potential threat not to Republican Governor George Pataki's re-election for a third term but to the Democratic Party's hopes of retaining their "second line" ballot spot. Though Independents still can't win, they are quite capable of causing other candidates to lose.

11. Gubernatorial Reshuffling -- The margin between the Democrats and the Republicans in governorships was so great that the minority party would have been hard pressed not to have racked up some additional victories in 2002. In the one area where the Democrats made any "forward progress," Democrats took advantage of several retirements of popular governors to hit the jackpot in the Great Lakes States. Republican nominees in Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Illinois proved to be mere pretenders instead of credible heirs to the thrones of governors who won based upon personality cults instead of party affiliation.

Though one could have predicted these shifts long before Election Day, the lack of surprise does not in any way diminish the rise of the Democrats in an area that is critical for a Republican presidential candidate to win. Though their numerical difference over the Democrats has been trimmed, Republicans should be rejoicing over the fact that they still have a majority of the governorships, even if it is by a narrow margin. Republicans won in states that lean heavily towards the Democrats, including Vermont, Maryland, and Hawaii. While it would be far-fetched to assume that these turnovers are a sign that President Bush is expected to carry these states in 2004, they do indicate that these once unfriendly areas are at least somewhat open to the GOP's message.

10. Frist First -- I remember back in 1994 hearing about a political outsider from Tennessee challenging an incumbent who was supposed to be the incoming Democratic Majority Leader in the US Senate. Unfortunately, a heart surgeon by the name of Bill Frist broke incumbent James Sasser's heart and pulled off a major upset that would have received more publicity had the Republicans not bloodied the Democrats so badly across the nation. Eight years later, Frist has broken the heart of yet another person who had aspirations of becoming the Majority Leader of the US Senate, though this time he did it to someone in his own party. Lott got the "Clemenza" treatment, courtesy of the silent black hand of the White House with Frist being the primary beneficiary of the "hit". With only eight years of elected office under his belt, Frist has made one of the biggest political jumps since another person who also won his first election in 1994 was sent to the White House.

9. A "Coal" December For The Louisiana GOP -- Republicans were entering Thanksgiving weekend with dreams of an increased majority in both the US House and the US Senate dancing in their heads. However, Mary Landrieu and Rodney Alexander proved adept at playing the Grinch denying Suzie "Lou Who" Terrell and Lee "Boo Hoo" Fletcher of victories that seemed inevitable until election night.

8. Florida Follies -- If there is ever a "late night comedian" hall of fame, it should be located in West Palm Beach. Not since the days of Clinton and OJ has there been such a rich source of ridicule for late night talk show hosts in dire need of ammunition for their monologues. While 2002 was not a repeat of 2000, there were several problems that came from the brand new machines that were brought in to replace those that were considered "too complex" by sore losers, I mean befuddled voters. While Jay Leno was able to dust off some of his Florida election jokes in the face of the most recent election complications, the last laugh belonged to Elian Gonzalez, whose abduction by Federal agents was probably a major factor in Janet Reno's narrow loss to Bill McBride in the Democratic primary.

7. Bush Wins! Bush Wins! Literally. -- Jeb Bush, whose brother had performed poorly in his state only two years before, went into 2002 as the number one target of the DNC, since taking out the little brother of the President of the United States would have been a smashing propaganda victory for the Democrats. Jeb won re-election by a surprising landslide while Democratic Chief Terry McAuliffe still had the nerve to declare victory for his party, a boast that had about as much credibility as a Yuri Andropov era edition of Pravda. Though his name was not on the ballot, George W. Bush proved to be a big winner himself with the historic Republican gains in 2002 being a referendum of his performance as president and a reflection of his high popularity with the voters.

6. Electoral Door Hits "Ass" -- The Democratic Donkey was beaten like a government mule in the midterm elections. The voters showed the 50 Democratic US Senators and Jim Jeffords the door in November and awarded control of both chambers of the Congress to the GOP. This is the first time since the evolution of the modern two party system that the faction controlling the White House has regained command of a house of Congress in a non-presidential Federal election. Tom Daschle's status in the US Senate will have palindromic traits, since he will exit the first term of the Bush Presidency as he entered it, as US Senate Minority Leader.

5. A Century of Strom -- War hero. Governor. US Senator. Dixiecrat. 100-year-old father of a twenty-six year old son. All of these things are remarkable but the media seemed to obsess over just one of these distinctions; take a guess which one? Strom Thurmond became Congress' first centenarian when he turned 100 on December 5, 2002. If he makes it to December 5, 2003, Thurmond would be one of a small group of people to have achieved palindromic status on ten occasions. You would think that having fathered four children as a seventy something year old in a pre-viagra world would have taken away some of the attention from his once forgotten tiff with Harry Truman, but the press seemed more interested in going on a political and historical fishing expedition. Though retired from Congress, Thurmond still has some unfinished business to take up. For one there is beating former Louisiana Governor Jimmie "You are my sunshine" Davis' gubernatorial record of living to 101. Of course there is also the prospect of creating another heir to the Thurmond name now that he has some more free time.

4. Lott's Salem -- Why didn't the media and Democrats just dunk poor Trent into a pool of ice water until he floated thus proving he was an agent of the devil? All that was missing from this "witch hunt" were the torches and great big pilgrim hats with buckles on them. Lott was hardly guilty of saying anything malicious until he tried to explain away what Al Gore, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton had twisted into an endorsement of separate water fountains. Then Lott got into real trouble when he decided to go on BET. The once conservative Lott, after enduring the same tortures that crippled the soul of Winston Smith from 1984, yelped on BET that he loved Big Brother and Big Government. In the end, Lott lost his leadership post, his credibility, and his standing in the Republican Party because his political senses, long dulled from his overstay on Capitol Hill, left him vulnerable to one of the biggest set-up jobs in political history.

3. Dead Man Running -- Liberalism lost one of its most ardent champions when Minnesota US Senator Paul Wellstone died in a plane crash while campaigning for re-election. Though the tragic death of Wellstone was a blow to the Democrats' hopes of retaining the endangered seat, his replacement by former Vice-President Walter Mondale, the Abe Vigoda of politics, and the partisan pep rally atmosphere at Wellstone's funeral put the Republicans back into the running (unlike the "dead man" ably played by Mondale). The Democratic campaign was given the "sleeper" by former co-holder of the WWF Tag Team Championship and outgoing Governor Jesse Ventura who screamed the loudest about it in the media since the Republicans proved to be initially gun-shy about the DFL's brazen obnoxiousness at what should have been a more solemn requiem.

2. No Gore In Four -- ...and there was a rousing "Amen!" heard from the Democratic 2004 Presidential Choir.

1. Soprano Politics In Jersey -- I am wondering if the Chief Justice of the New Jersey State Supreme Court is named "Fat Tony" or does he simply go by the title "Don." "Dutch" Schultz would have even blushed about the crime committed by the high court of the Garden State when they circumvented state law to help even the odds for the Democrats in the US Senate election. While this might not be a story that could force the value of stocks down, it is one of the most blatant acts of not just legislating from the bench, as is the case when the courts simply make up the law where it is not spelled out, but erasing one rule and writing another to help out one of the parties to a case.

When Robert Torricelli's campaign for the US Senate seemed hopeless, even though he was pitted against the hapless candidacy of Doug Forrester, the big guns in the Democratic Party decided to "push the button" on the "Torch's" campaign. The one problem they had was that state law said that candidates could not be swapped out past a certain date. "Fuhgedaboutit" said the Democrats who were able to check retired US Senator Frank Lautenberg out of the museum where he was currently on exhibit and run him in Torricelli's stead. In the end, the voters of New Jersey decided that the man in the trenchcoat with the Rolexes hanging from his pockets was a legitimate businessman after all and went Democrat.

America has always be known as a country that is ruled by laws instead of men, but in the case of New Jersey, a place run by a gang of Democratic party sympathizers that possesses even less scruples than a Robert DiNiro character in a mobster movie, the spirit of the Constitution and the ideals of our Founding Fathers mean little compared to politics and patronage.

That there has been a minimal amount of indignation over this blatant abuse of authority is also disheartening and tells me that the populace either does not care about this serious judicial overstep or worse yet, endorses it. The public's apathy regarding the NJ Court ruling will only provide encouragement to others who view the Constitution with the same respect that Hitler had for the Munich Pact, as nothing more than a scrap of paper.