Responsibilities - R - Us
By Richard Olivastro
March 23, 2009

Everyone has responsibilities.

Unfortunately, not everyone is responsible.

Everyone should be accountable. Again, not everyone is accountable.

Everyone has made mistakes, wrong choices and bad decisions. Yes, everyone has.

This has been the case through the ages. That has not changed.

Or, has it?

One senses that the frequency of mistakes on the part of the typical human being likely has increased down through time. Of course, only God knows that for sure.

Still, there are critical elements of the human experience today that more than suggest how much more prevalent it is that every day individuals shirk responsibilities - and avoid accountability - for themselves and others.

In whomever the self-centeredness of all things 'me' has taken root, what is likely to blossom is not a person of character. And, that applies to all of us, whether we are young or older.

It usually starts when the person is younger. Adults in their midst may perceive it as "juvenile selfishness" and choose to declare, "Oh, they'll grow out of it."

Will they? Do they? Have they?

The human rationalizations in one's thinking, along with the cacophony of excuses we hear all too often tell us the answers.

Try on a few of these:

Life is depressing ... If I had better luck ... If my family was wealthier.

How about:

Its fate ... other people... my parents ... Its circumstances ... My father left when ...

My family is poor.

These three are also frequently heard: racism, sexism, and prejudice.

Perhaps, you're thinking as you read this, "Yes, it's endless."

And, that's the point.

Responsibility is endless!

It doesn't matter who you are; whether you are young or old; rich or poor.

It doesn't matter whether you are a parent, teacher, plumber, president; or, a college professor, governor, athlete, basketball referee, and so on.

What really matters is: Are you a responsible individual?

More specifically, do you understand and accept your responsibilities?

Do you do so willingly? Because if you do accept your responsibilities willingly; then you will do whatever may be necessary to develop your personal abilities - and the wherewithal - to fulfill each and every one of your responsibilities.

This responsibility principle applies for everyone. No individual is exempted.

This responsibility principle applies across the board. No exceptions. No excuses.

Here's a basic -- and powerful -- example:

When a man and woman are married and are blessed with a child, then as an individual -- father or mother -- and now a parent, each person has new additional responsibilities. Each has individual responsibility as a parent to take care of the child.

When the blessed child is born into, and grows up in, wedlock and a happy home, each parent has a parental helpmate to share in the responsibility for the child. And the child will have the benefit of having both a mom and a dad.

However, when a child is born to a "single" mother, no matter how loving and caring the woman may be throughout the years raising the child alone, the father, at least, has failed his responsibility.

That man -- no, that male's - failure has costs. And we all bear those costs -- over the generations and years -- as individuals, as a society and as a culture.

We bear the costs of irresponsibility every day. And, those costs are aggregate and cumulative.

The costs of irresponsibility include the very real human costs and the cultural affects of welfare, the cycle of dependency, higher rates of delinquency, sexual activity, drug use-abuse-treatment programs, etc. These costs, among others, affect everyone in our society,

Another equally real cost of irresponsibility is the tax burden placed on the shoulders of only the productive members of society by those politicians who refuse to faithfully fulfill their responsibilities equitably to every citizen.

How does this happen? What are the likely seeds of these problems? And why has it increased over the years?

We would need much more space to discuss all of the possible reasons. So, let's discuss just one. Perhaps, you will conclude it to be the most important. I describe it as a "cancerous-like" attitude that eats away, and ultimately supplants, the very marrow of human character. The cancerous attitude is: "It's not cheating if you don't get caught." This attitude has variations, including "I can spin it. Is there evidence? I can stonewall."

Here are some recent examples:

A teenager takes answers from another student. 'It's not cheating if you don't get caught.'

A senator lies when first asked why he changed his amendment to the stimulus legislation permitting top AIG executives to get bonuses. 'Why 'fess up. I can spin and stonewall the people... as I did with my two special reduced-rate mortgages being a 'friend of Angelo'.

A treasury secretary, who failed to report or pay payroll taxes, is confirmed anyway. 'His political sponsors insist he is needed to fix the economic mess.'

A driver hits a parked car and leaves the scene. 'Why take responsibility for something no one saw you do?'

Under continued probing, the "senator from countrywide" admits he "changed his own amendment, because the new treasury secretary - the one needed to fix the economic mess - asked him to change it". The change provides bonuses to AIG -- and others - from taxpayer funded bailout money. 'After railing against the bonuses, the president announces he has "total confidence" in his treasury secretary; and that "he is doing a great job".

A married person commits adultery. Again, "It's not cheating if you don't get caught."

Oh, Really?

What is it? This may help.

Here's a quick three-step exercise:

First, review the above scenarios; jot down whatever descriptor - a word or phrase - you think applies to each.

Second, review the words or phrases you recorded as descriptors. As a whole, do the descriptors clearly define one or more principles of responsibility?

Lastly, for each, how would you -- as a parent, family member, stakeholder in our society, and as a citizen -- responsibly hold yourself and all others accountable?

Concerned and willing individuals can raise the bar of responsibility by focusing on and pumping up accountability in every institution, venue and arena of our society.

I welcome your thoughts, observations and the results of your personal exercise.

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Richard Olivastro is a professional member of the National Speakers Association, president of Olivastro Communications - an executive leadership development company - and founder of Citizens For Change. He can be reached at Rich@Olivastro.NET

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Note -- The opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions, views, and/or philosophy of GOPUSA.