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2003 Awards
By Michael B. Illions
January 5, 2004

Happy New Year to all. As we welcome in 2004, I thought I would put together the 1st annual "Illions Awards" of 2003 featuring the Good, the Bad & the Ugly.

THE GOOD

Man of the Year Award:
Winner: President George Bush

I don't think there are enough words in my vocabulary to express my feelings for our President. From putting it all on the line with his direction in the War on Terror, INCLUDING the Iraq War, to the obvious to us, but not to all, strong economic recovery, this has been a banner year for President Bush.

Butt-Kicker Award:
Winner: United States Military

No comments needed. Actions speak louder then words.

THE BAD

The Insert Foot in Mouth Award:
Winner: Howard Dean

"We won't always have the strongest military."

"I still want to be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup trucks."

"We've gotten rid of him [Saddam Hussein], and I suppose that's a good thing" (April 9, 2003).

"I will say, however, that there is a war going on in the Middle East, and members of Hamas are soldiers in that war." (September 10, 2003)

"I've resisted pronouncing a sentence before guilt is found. I still have this old-fashioned notion that even with people like Osama, who is very likely to be found guilty, we should do our best not to, in positions of executive power, not to prejudge jury trials."

"The most interesting theory that I've heard so far - which is nothing more than a theory, it can't be proved - is that he, [President Bush], was warned ahead of time by the Saudis."

"The capture of Saddam has not made America safer".

"Had the United Nations given us permission and asked us to be a part of a multilateral force, I would not have hesitated to go into Iraq, but that was not the case."

Is any commentary even needed here? In just a few short months, Howard Dean has managed to make disparaging remarks about the South, the Military, the President, Jew's, Israel and pandered to the French, the United Nations, Palestinian's and Osama Bin Laden. Yet, each ridiculous remark was followed with a backpedaling story that seemed to reinforce his strength within his grass root supporters.

Most Overused Phrase Award:
Winner: Dick Gephardt; Miserable Failure

How many times have we heard Dick Gephardt spit out this word when talking about the war, the economy, the Administration, the weather or all things President Bush. It became so common that copy cat John Kerry started using the phrase as well, but cut out miserable. (How original).

Impossible to Believe Award:
Winner: Tim Robbins Sarandon

My 11-year-old nephew, mentioned earlier, a shy kid who never talks in class, stood up to his history teacher who was questioning Susan's patriotism. "That's my aunt you're talking about. Stop it." And the stunned teacher backtracks and began stammering compliments in embarrassment. (National Press Club in Washington, D.C., on April 15, 2003)

We are to believe that of the small amount of supportive educator's, one just happens to be the history teacher of Susan Sarandon & Tim Robin Sarandon's nephew AND he was criticizing Susan Sarandon on top of it. I don't think so. This story begs to be verified and I will donate money to Tim Robin Sarandon's favorite charity if it turns out to be true.

The "Twilight Zone" Award:
Winner: Jim McDermott

The Bush administration could have captured Saddam "long ago if they wanted," but held off until Mr. Bush could use it as a boost in his approval ratings. "There's too much by happenstance for it to be just a coincidental thing," he said.

This is also the man that stood on foreign soil in Iraq and called President Bush a liar. That this man is an elected official is truly frightening, that means he has more supporters then detractors. He is also from the same State has "Taliban" Patty Murray.

THE UGLY

Big Mouth Award:
Winner: Janeane Garofalo

"I would be so willing to say I'm sorry, I hope to God that I can be made a buffoon of, that people will say you were wrong, you were a fatalist, and I will go to the White House on my knees on cut glass and say, hey, you were right, I shouldn't have doubted you." (On the War in Iraq)

We're still waiting Janeane .. !!!!

Ironically enough, she was made a buffoon of way before this statement ....

The Wrong Side of History Award:
Winner: Janeane Garofalo

"There's no way a war in Iraq will go well."

I can choose any of a number of Liberals for this award, but settled on Ms. Garofalo. Some people just don't get it.

Peter Arnett Award:
Winner: Katie Couric

"So, they haven't been able to confirm reports he was taken to Tikrit, and then Mosul, and then hopefully to Syria".

What a classic this was. Ms. Couric was praying for the safe escape of Saddam Hussein in the first few weeks of the war from the US Military.

The "Grassy Knoll" Award:
Winner: Madeline Albright

Madeleine Albright, the secretary of state in the Clinton administration, in a conversation with Morton Kondracke, executive editor of Roll Call and a Fox News Channel political analyst, suggested that Osama bin Laden has been captured by U.S. forces and will soon be produced to the public. "Do you suppose," she asked, "that the Bush administration has Osama bin Laden hidden away somewhere and will bring him out before the election?" Mrs. Albright said last night she was kidding. "She was not smiling when she said this," Mr. Kondracke said.

As time goes by, the Liberals get more outrageous with their theories and accusations. Ms. Albright, of course, immediately denied that she was being serious and was upset that a private comment to Mr. Kondracke was repeated on the air to millions of listeners.

Ms. Albright, I would be too!

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Michael Illions is the New Jersey State Editor for GOPUSA.
Comments welcome to Michael.Illions@gopusa.com

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Note -- The opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions, views, and/or philosophy of GOPUSA.