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A Christmas Rhyme
By Doug Patton
December 23, 2002

T'was just before Christmas, when all through the land,
Democrat egos got way out of hand.
They'd all smelled the blood of their rival, Al Gore,
And each was now eagerly thirsting for more.

They came from the east, south, north and the west,
Each one of them claiming he/she was the best.
The gleam in their eyes told the tale of their lust,
As they all hit the road, shouting "Iowa or bust!"

On Daschle! On Kerry! On Lieberman, too!
On Edwards! On Hillary! And Vermont's Howard Who?
There was little Dick Gephardt, the workingman's pal,
California's Grey Davis and slick Reverend Al.

One by one tossing their hats in the ring,
They managed to see eye to eye on one thing:
"If you are not Lilly-white, wealthy and male,
The Republican Party just wants you to fail!"

They then hit the low road with this common theme:
To hoodwink the people and hijack the dream.
With nary a blink and hardly a blush,
They painted their foes with a sweeping broad brush.

The hypocrisy hung in the air like a curse
As they all called Republicans racists and worse!
They seemed to believe that the issue was hot,
As they just kept repeating the name of Trent Lott.

They shouted that name and they said with a sneer,
That the party of Lincoln is no longer here!
"Those evil Republicans stole it from us...
Why, they want you to ride in the back of the bus!"

They lied to the voters wherever they went,
And just didn't answer when asked what they meant.
They practiced and worked and they learned to deceive,
And soon there were some who began to believe.

Then out on the trail, some new names were heard,
Like Albert Gore, Sr., and old Robert Byrd,
J. William Fulbright and others who'd stood
Blocking the way in a sheet and a hood.

There's 'Heimietown' Jesse strutting around,
Living on tax breaks and shaking us down.
There's wild Patty Murray, who said with a sigh,
That Osama bin Laden's not such a bad guy,

There's Biden, whose plagiarized speeches lacked fizz,
And Clinton, who can't seem to define the word 'is.'
There's old Teddy K., who's learned how to survive,
Even though he has never yet learned how to drive.

So when we're approaching this next big campaign,
Let's try to remember just what's in a name.
If Lott is a sinner, he may have to pay,
But at least he was not in the old KKK.