Last Updated:December 1 @ 07:49 am

Malkin: Eddie Haskell Brooks


New York Times columnist David Brooks is the Eddie Haskell of the Fourth Estate. Like the two-faced sycophant in "Leave It to Beaver," Brooks indulges in excessive politeness while currying favor with political authority. He prides himself on an oily semblance of maturity and rational discourse.

But the phony "conservative" back-stabber, who has spent the last four years slavering over Barack Obama like a One Direction groupie and trashing the tea party like an MSNBC junkie, isn't fooling anyone.

Lately, Brooks has been given to dispensing passive-aggressive advice to GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney. His column this week titled "Thurston Howell Romney" called Romney "a kind, decent man" -- and then shredded him to pieces as a "country club" elitist who "doesn't know much about the culture of America," "knows nothing about ambition and motivation," and is "running a depressingly inept presidential campaign."

Eddie Haskell Brooks, along with fellow GOP bubble-dwellers Peggy Noonan and Bill Kristol, eagerly piled on Romney over his "secret video" remarks contrasting the nation's makers and takers. Liberal outlets embraced these chin-pulling tools -- elevating them as "key" Republican voices who speak for the right.

Despite the best efforts of the Democratic-professional media complex to gin up faux-rage over Romney's remarks, however, several polls show that voters agree with Romney's fundamental critique of the indulgent Democratic politics of victimhood, identity and dependency. Yep, Brooks has the pulse of mainstream America -- direct from his hallowed bubble at the Fishwrap of Record.

Brooks shares all he knows about "ambition," "motivation" and the "culture of America" through regular appearances with the insular clique of conservative-bashing snobs at taxpayer-supported "PBS NewsHour." A cursory glance at Brooks' biography shows that he has spent the majority of his life in New York City and Washington, D.C. He has worked for a raft of employers from The Washington Times to The Wall Street Journal to The Weekly Standard to The New York Times.

But unlike Romney, Brooks has never actually run a business of his own, managed a massive private entity, governed a state or overseen a campaign for national office.

He does have quite an impressive record, though. If by record you mean sucking up to empty suit Barack Obama, mocking grass-roots conservatives as "teens" and defending his cocktail party mates in establishment journalism.

In 2009, the liberal New Republic published the bodice-ripping "story behind the Obama-Brooks bromance." The magazine reported that "two days after Obama's 'The Audacity of Hope' hit bookstores (in 2006), Brooks published a glowing Times column. The headline was 'Run, Barack, Run.'"

Brooks also recounted his first encounter with his Democratic crush. "I remember distinctly an image of -- we were sitting on his couches, and I was looking at his pant leg and his perfectly creased pant," Brooks said, "and I'm thinking, a) he's going to be president and b) he'll be a very good president."

The purported conservative columnist's public display of affection for the radical Democratic candidate bordered on obscene. "I think he's more talented than anyone in my lifetime," Brooks gushed. "I mean, he is pretty dazzling when he walks into a room." Brooks revealed that he considered Obama's Chicago campaign mastermind David Axelrod a "hero." Axelrod returned the love, calling Brooks a "serious public thinker" in an era of "insipid, instant commentary and one-hour news cycles."

In the fall of 2008, Brooks swooned over Obama's Ivy League "achievatrons" taking over Washington: "Already the culture of the Obama administration is coming into focus. Its members are twice as smart as the poor reporters who have to cover them, three times if you include the columnists. They typically served in the Clinton administration and then, like Cincinnatus, retreated to the comforts of private life -- that is, if Cincinnatus had worked at Goldman Sachs, Williams & Connolly or the Brookings Institution."

Wait, he wasn't not done:

"So many of them send their kids to Georgetown Day School, the posh leftish private school in D.C., that they'll be able to hold White House staff meetings in the carpool line. And yet as much as I want to resent these overeducated Achievatrons (not to mention the incursion of a French-style government dominated by highly trained Enarchs), I find myself tremendously impressed by the Obama transition."

Less than three years later, Brooks acknowledged he had been an "Obama sap." He admitted that he fell for the administration's stimulus propaganda:

"When administration officials called around saying that the possibility of a double-dip recession was horrifyingly real and that it would be irresponsible not to come up with a package that could pass right away, I believed them. ... But of course I'm a sap. When the president unveiled the second half of his stimulus it became clear that this package has nothing to do with helping people right away or averting a double dip. This is a campaign marker, not a jobs bill."

Not just a sap. A willing tool, too. Brooks copped to sitting on Obama's private admission to him that the "shovel-ready" promise was a crock. "The projects just didn't exist. They couldn't do it. They couldn't find them," he said on "PBS NewsHour" -- more than a year after Obama told him.

Gee, Wally, why isn't Eddie Haskell Brooks giving this corrupt administration and its Titanically inept "achievatrons" the business?


Michelle Malkin is the author of "Culture of Corruption: Obama and his Team of Tax Cheats, Crooks & Cronies" (Regnery 2010).


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  1. concit321Comment by concit321
    September 21, 2012 @ 11:15 am

    Thank you for shedding light on the once interesting PBS discourse between David Brooks, a supposed conservative, and Mark Shields, a purported liberal with at least some manners. I used to enjoy their point by point discussions and then became disenchanted with David Brooks abandoning facts for opinion. I think his DNC panel interview with Caroline Kennedy topped it off. He could hardly contain his pleasure at sitting next to her and offered not ONE intelligent question of her adoration of Obama.

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  2. downdraftComment by downdraft
    September 21, 2012 @ 12:05 pm

    Brooks????…oh I’m sorry Michelle..I misread your column…I thought you were describing OBIMBO!

    You actually described him to a “T”!

    Thanks, Michelle, for a great post, as per usual…you are at the top of my favorites!

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  3. CharieComment by Charie
    September 21, 2012 @ 1:12 pm

    David Brooks thinks he’s a sap? hahahahahahahaha! How about empty-headed cluck? I gave up listening or reading anything by him years ago, even before he took up behaving like a star-struck teeny-bopper over his big crush, Obama.

    His sharply-creased trousers? That makes him really special presidential material? My good Lord, I may have a Depends moment! There’s no end to the buffoonery of this lamebrain. Sorry about all the name calling, but just re-reading (all in one article) the ridiculous things this “Conservative” columnist has said and written for years made me lose control. (See? He made me do it! I’m a victim!)

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  4. daveevad1Comment by daveevad1
    September 21, 2012 @ 1:31 pm

    The only shred of truth Brooks has spoken is, “(Romney is) running a depressingly inept presidential campaign.”

    Romney’s campaign is totally inept and is going to result in Obama winning the election – after which he will suspend the Constitution and future elections and declare himself President for life.

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    • mredComment by mred
      September 22, 2012 @ 3:53 pm

      Are you sure he won’t do this before the elections?? That may be the only way he can keep the White House. Declare Martial law and suspend the elections. Then he won’t have to worry about showing his face at his kicking out party………..

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  5. downdraftComment by downdraft
    September 21, 2012 @ 4:37 pm

    As I read the commentaries by the list here of talented and professional reporting specialists…and then the numerous replies by all of us…

    Well, I gain HOPE…there are a lot of intelligent readers out there who love their country, who would gladly kick arse, defend their constitution…and vote right!

    Depressing sometimes as you read the columns…then it dawns on one that maybe we, Romney, has better than just a chance…but is in the “most probable” column.

    Its gotta happen, else we are in deep deep deep MANURE!

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    • mredComment by mred
      September 22, 2012 @ 4:07 pm

      I don’t think you have as much to worry about as you think you do. When you have to get the entire media machine lying for you just to make you look close, then something is wrong. On top of that you need the polling machines running all the RIGHT numbers that show you at least level with if not ahead of Romney. If everyone told the truth, Obama would be hiding in his office and not come out until after the elections are over.

      Obama is nothing but a mouth piece for a group of people that bought the last election for him. How else could an unknown come out of nowhere and win the highest office in the nation and spend over a billion dollars doing it. No way an unknown could raise that kind of money unless he is just a mouth piece and they are pulling his strings all through his administration. Every time he tries to think for himself it blows up in his face. Just like this lie about some stupid movie nobody has seen make everyone so mad they stormed our embassy and killed those people.

      He continues to blame Bush for his problems even though Bush had nothing to do with them, but he is easy to blame, since Bush will not say a word to anyone. That makes Bush at fault by default simply because he will not answer any questions others may have. It’s past time to throw this bum out and send him back to wherever he came from……………

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  6. hammarComment by hammar
    September 24, 2012 @ 12:12 pm

    the elite media will do anything and everything to get this bum re-elected. Even if it means
    dumping the country, the Constitution and our tax dollars down the drain. God help us.

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